February 2009 Purchases

First of all, sorry for the delay on this post. I'm lazy.

Anyway, less stuff than normal this month...attempting to save up, and not doing a very good job of it. XD

• V/A - Pucchi Best 5 DVD
• Matsuura Aya - Single V Clips 2
• Buono! - co . no . mi . chi Single V
• Matsuura Aya - Chocolate Damashii Single V
  

• Morning Musume - Hyokkori Hyoutanjima Single V
• Morning Musume - Egao YES Nude Single V
• Morning Musume - Onna ni Sachi Are Single V
• Morning Musume Sakura/Otome Gumi - Sakura Mankai / Yuujou ~Kokoro no Busu ni wa Naranee!~
  

• Country Musume - Daizenshuu 2 RE
  
• Buono! - Buono!2 LE (w/DVD)
  
• C-ute - Akogare My STAR RE
• Matsuura Aya - Chocolate Damashii RE
• Morning Musume - Naichau Kamo RE
  

• Melon Kinenbi - This Is Unmei RE
• Kusumi Koharu - Chance! RE
• 2005 Shuffles - Onna, Kanashii, Otona / Inshouha Renoir no You ni / Hitoshirezu Mune wo Kanaderu Yoru no Aki LE (w/photobook)
• Goto Maki - Sans Toi m'Amie / Kimi to Itsumademo RE
• Goto Maki - Yokohama Shinkirou LE (w/posters)
• Goto Maki - Glass no Pumps RE

Quick thoughts:
- I'm surprisingly fond of Country Musume's Daizenshuu 2...I've started buying more of their singles since I got ahold of this. XD
- Still haven't listened to my copy of Akogare My STAR...who knows if I ever will. This is likely the last C-ute release I'm going to buy.
- Chocolate Damashii is awesome, I don't care what the sales said.
- Naichau Kamo is also awesome.
- I get Chance! stuck in my head at least once a week, yet somehow I never tire of it, haha

So there we are. March is shaping up to be about the same as February, purchase-wise...maybe a little bit more. If I actually post it when I'm supposed to, it'll be up in a little over a week...but I wouldn't put money on it. :P

Till next time,
- cfb

January 2009 Purchases

This was, without a doubt, the most ridiculous month yet. I totaled it all up...there are 42 items here, and while 13 of those were from Ohayocon near the end of the month, 29 is still a lot. I'm almost ashamed of myself. O.o

...who am I kidding, H!P stuff is awesome. :P

• Nakazawa Yuko - Kuyashi Namida Porori RE
• Nakazawa Yuko - Shanghai no Kaze RE
• Goto Maki - Afurechau...BE IN LOVE RE
• Goto Maki - Sayonara no LOVE SONG LE (w/photobook & poster)
• Goto Maki - Sayonara 'Tomodachi ni wa Naritakunai no' RE

• Melon Kinenbi - Kawaii Kare RE
• Melon Kinenbi - MI DA RA Matenrou RE
• Melon Kinenbi - The Nimaime LE (w/box case)

• Matsuura Aya - Omoi Afurete RE (w/slipcover)
• Buono! - co . no . michi LE (w/DVD)
• ZYX - Iku ZYX! Fly High RE
• Country Musume ni Konno to Fujimoto - Shining Itoshiki Anata RE
• H!P All Stars - ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL! LE (w/photobook)

• Morning Musume - Go Girl! ~Koi no Victory~ Single V
• Morning Musume - THE Manpower Single V
• Morning Musume - Osaka Koi no Uta Single V
• Morning Musume - Roman ~My Dear Boy~

• Morning Musume - Namida ga Tomaranai Houkago Single V
• Morning Musume - Ambitious! Yashintenki de Ii Jan Single V
• Morning Musume - Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari Single V
• Morning Musume - SEXY BOY ~Soyokaze ni Yorisotte~

• Country Musume ni Konno to Fujimoto - Uwaki na Honey Pie Event V
• 2005 Shuffles - Onna, Kanashii, Otona / Inshouha Renoir no You ni / Hitoshirezu Mune wo Kanaderu Yoru no Aki Single V
• Shugo Chara Egg! - Minna no Tamago Single V
  
• Morning Musume Otomegumi - Ai no Sono ~Touch My Heart!~ Single V

• Moero! Manner-bu Vol 1
• Moero! Manner-bu Vol 2
• Morning Musume - Concert Tour 2003 Haru Non Stop!
• Nochiura Natsumi - Concert Tour 2005 Haru 'Triangle Energy'

-Ohayocon Swag-

• 10nin Matsuri - Dancing! Natsu Matsuri RE
• Goto Maki - Te wo Nigitte Arukitai RE
• Country Musume ni Ishikawa Rika - Hajimete no Happy Birthday RE

• Morning Musume - I WISH RE
• Morning Musume - The Peace! RE
• Morning Musume - 3rd -Love Paradise- RE
• Morning Musume - Renai Revolution 21 RE

• Pucchi Best 1 RE
  
• Pucchi Best 2 LE (w/pictures and frame)
• Pucchi Best 3 LE (w/box case)
• Tanpopo - Otome Pasta ni Kandou RE
• Tanpopo - Koi wo Shichaimashita RE
• Tanpopo - Oujisama to Yuki no Yoru RE

Quick thoughts:
- I love Melon Kinenbi now.
- Shining Itoshiki Anata is undoubtedly my favorite Miki song (I know it's actually a Country Musume single...but seriously, it's more like "Miki featuring all those other chicks" XD), and it makes me want to give her a big sexy hug. T-T
- I paid more than I probably should have for the H!P All Stars LE single...I'm not entirely sure why it gets bid up so high every time it's on eBay, but it does.
- I also paid a pretty penny for the Uwaki na Honey Pie Event V, but it was so worth it. : 3
- I went through way, way, way too much trouble to ahold of Manner-bu. Speaking of, I've still got an extra copy of both volumes of Koto Mikku if somebody wants to trade for or buy them...please...
- The Nochiura Natsumi concert was awesome, and it was really cool to see Ayaya performing some songs by other H!P artists. Not so sure about that performance of Shining Itoshiki Anata though...it's just not the same without Miki. XD
- I think I made out pretty well from Ohayocon H!P-wise. All the CDs ended up costing about $90USD, which is probably a little high...but it was a smaller convention, so I was glad they even had any H!P at all.

Also of note, my buying streak pretty much ends now. Gotta save up for Anime Expo. :P

Until next month,
- cfb

Souki and I Discuss Idol Personalities and Wota Psychology

More insights into the mind of wota, or something like that. I had posted a similar conversation to this not too long ago, and hastily deleted it after I realized that everything in that one was explained more adequately here...so if you're wondering why that post disappeared, here's your reason.

CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Zac
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I'm not gonna lie
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: sometimes I think that reality TV stars here have more depth than idols.
CatchFiveBats: Well, they're normal people just doing what they want to do.
CatchFiveBats: People have depth, that makes sense. XD
CatchFiveBats: But I think some idols have a lot of depth to them, really.
CatchFiveBats: Especially ones that have gone on to other things.
CatchFiveBats: Aya and Miki being the obvious examples. XD
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I guess. I dunno, I just hear the canned responses.
CatchFiveBats: That's just Japanese culture though.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Yeah, but it doesn't really change that it seems flat.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Like, where do you see that Aya and Miki are interesting?
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: And I'm not asking to bust your balls
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I'm seriously asking
CatchFiveBats: Honestly, I couldn't tell you.
CatchFiveBats: Not specifically.
CatchFiveBats: But I know, from how much time I've spent watching them on TV shows, and in concerts, and at promo events, and in DVD magazines, and in everything I've watched (including recent TV appearances where they weren't parading around as idols, but as musicians, and real people) that there's depth to them.
CatchFiveBats: On the surface, it doesn't seem that way.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Yeah, but how do you know they're not just canning the same "I wanna make people happy, lucky lucky I wanna give dreams" responses in those shows?
CatchFiveBats: Cause they're not just saying that stuff.
CatchFiveBats: Not Aya and Miki, anyway.
CatchFiveBats: Not recently.
CatchFiveBats: But as you get involved with the idol 'thing' and get to know the girls, you see the depth to it.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: mmm....
CatchFiveBats: It's the difference between a casual observer and a hardcore fan. XD
CatchFiveBats: There's depth to everything if you spend enough time with it. :P
CatchFiveBats: And those who argue against that just haven't been involved with it like the fans have, to risk sounding like an elitist dick.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I suppose...I just don't know if companies capitalize on their personalities or if they mold them into idols.
CatchFiveBats: I think it's a little bit of both.
CatchFiveBats: Like, they really direct the girls as they start out.
CatchFiveBats: But as the girls get more confident and develop into better idols, they're given more freedom to act on their own.
CatchFiveBats: They wouldn't stay idols if they weren't doing what they wanted to.
CatchFiveBats: There are members who have left cause they couldn't handle the idol life.
CatchFiveBats: Maiha in Berryz, for example.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: aaah....
CatchFiveBats: It seems very manufactured at first, but I think all the manufactured stuff is just the big picture...what you see from the outside looking in.
CatchFiveBats: The details, the idols themselves, are for the most part real, from what I've seen.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: aaah...and that's where understanding Japanese comes in, I suppose.
CatchFiveBats: Obviously it's not a perfect argument, but you could say the same about the members of a band here in the US.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Yeah, you could.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: But a band doesn't really market itself as an IDOL.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: They market themselves as musicians.
CatchFiveBats: Well, yes.
CatchFiveBats: But that's because musicians and idols serve different purposes.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: mmm...idols are images and examples.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: And as such they have to uphold that throughout their career.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I mean, examples for people to follow.
CatchFiveBats: They're there to inspire and be an object of affection, on top of just entertainment.
CatchFiveBats: So of course there will be some awkward or seemingly manufactured parts.
CatchFiveBats: The purpose requires it.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: mmm....seemingly?
CatchFiveBats: Seemingly and not-so-seemingly, both.
CatchFiveBats: It just depends on the situation.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: aaah
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: It feels like the times you can see a real idol for what they are is when they're on game shows and stuff.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Or so it seems to me.
CatchFiveBats: Exactly.
CatchFiveBats: Or situations where they're put on the spot, or kind of tortured a little, like the stuff the hosts pull on Utaban.
CatchFiveBats: And, from what I've seen, they still act mostly the same.
CatchFiveBats: Either they're very well-trained, or the people who manage idols know how to play off an already-existing personality.
CatchFiveBats: I'd be more inclined to the second option.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Unless those situations are written, but I doubt that.
CatchFiveBats: There's no way.
CatchFiveBats: Part of the fun of idols and TV personalities in Japan is that they're not acting.
CatchFiveBats: It's kind of like reality TV in that respect.
CatchFiveBats: And there's a blogger who has said that he approached idols like reality TV when he was into them.
CatchFiveBats: The taboo-ness of it.
CatchFiveBats: And how ridiculous it is that something like idols actually exists.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: mmmm
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I mean, I don't think it's a taboo.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: It's just something for...very open minds.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: You'd have to be open-minded to even entertain the idea of getting attached to something on a screen.
CatchFiveBats: Oh, of course.
CatchFiveBats: But closed minds are what bring taboos about in the first place. XD
CatchFiveBats: You kind of defined what a taboo is. XD
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Yeah
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: A sort of hive-mind creates societal taboos.
CatchFiveBats: mhmm
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Kind of everyone thinking the same way just cause someone in power thinks one thing.
CatchFiveBats: Yeah.
CatchFiveBats: One person thinks it, then everyone jumps on the bandwagon.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: One person of power, mind you.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I'd imagine most of the very hopelessly hardcore would agree with Aya if she suddenly decided killing jews was a good idea.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: And from there, it'd build off.
CatchFiveBats: haha
CatchFiveBats: I suppose...but from what I've heard from a guy who actually went to Japan and saw Momusu in concert, and another idol group, most wotas aren't these pitiful lemmings who live for their idols.
CatchFiveBats: A lot of them just do it as a hobby.
CatchFiveBats: It's not a lifestyle like I've tried to make it. >.>
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: aaaah
CatchFiveBats: And I'm coming to terms with that, too.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I see...
CatchFiveBats: As much as I love all these girls I'm into, it's unrealistic to live just for that.
CatchFiveBats: When I'm at home, I live for the idols I love.
CatchFiveBats: When I'm at school or work, I live for that.
CatchFiveBats: But it's not like I can't enjoy school or work.
CatchFiveBats: Or that I'm distracted from it because I can't stop thinking of Miki. XD
CatchFiveBats: I'm perfectly capable of functioning (not that I need to make that point...).
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Oh no XD
CatchFiveBats: It's not a crippling thing...
CatchFiveBats: Just an eccentricity.
CatchFiveBats: No matter what I'm into, I'll be into it as much as I'm into idols right now.
CatchFiveBats: Idols just happen to be an entertainment form that pull you in a little further than most things.
CatchFiveBats: There are days where I just feel like sitting around and swooning over Miki all day. XD
CatchFiveBats: And, if the opportunity arises, I'll do that every now and then.
CatchFiveBats: Cause I enjoy that.
CatchFiveBats: It's what I do for fun.
CatchFiveBats: But it's not like I live just for that.
CatchFiveBats: Even if it feels like I do sometimes.
CatchFiveBats: I mean, I still do my job and enjoy myself and work hard and everything else, and often have just as good of a time as I do watching H!P concerts or looking at photobooks or whatever.
CatchFiveBats: I've always viewed myself as a being fairly versatile in what I'm able to enjoy...as in, I can enjoy just about anything if I set my mind to it.
CatchFiveBats: I don't have any idea where I'm going with this. XD
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: XD it's okay lol
CatchFiveBats: I suppose you get the point. :P
CatchFiveBats: You haven't seen this happen, but I'm even more defensive with Miki than I was with Berryz. >.<
CatchFiveBats: I've just stormed out of wotachat a couple times because someone started making sex jokes about Miki.
CatchFiveBats: I just don't want to hear it.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I haven't really noticed it! I think it's just cause we (he's referring to my group of friends here) don't do that much anymore.
CatchFiveBats: Yeah.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: The joke kinda wore itself out.
CatchFiveBats: haha
CatchFiveBats: Yeah.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Unless something severely witty comes along.
CatchFiveBats: mhmm
CatchFiveBats: Anyway, that makes me feel as though I'm hopelessly lost in this whole wota thing.
CatchFiveBats: But then I go out and do 'normal' stuff, and I have no trouble at all.
CatchFiveBats: It's confusing, honestly. XD
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: XD it's just what you enjoy.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: It bugs me when Jack Thompson or any other mother mouths off about games.
CatchFiveBats: haha
CatchFiveBats: I guess it just shows that I really enjoy my hobbies.
CatchFiveBats: It's nice that I'm able to fall that far into them and still maintain a fairly normal life, I guess.
CatchFiveBats: I see lots of kids at conventions who can't do that very well. :P
CatchFiveBats: And I've explained the whole pissed-at-Miki-jokes thing as being similar to someone making sex jokes about my girlfriend or something.
CatchFiveBats: The relationship isn't the same at all, of course.
CatchFiveBats: I know that.
CatchFiveBats: But the emotions are similar.
CatchFiveBats: If the wrong person develops that, they could end up completely hopeless. XD
CatchFiveBats: But I guess I'm somehow not that kind of person.
CatchFiveBats: Even with all the insane stuff that I think sometimes...
CatchFiveBats: Think and/or do.
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: Yeah
CantSpellShotaWithoutHOT: I'll be back in a bit
CatchFiveBats: k

- cfb

lol

Just a quick something lulzy. Shouldn't take myself too seriously. XD

January 26th, 2009
pootyfrebbles: Whoa, her birthday is coming up
CatchFiveBats: Miki's?
CatchFiveBats: It's the 26th of February :P
pootyfrebbles: kago's
CatchFiveBats: Well, Miki's is coming up too.
CatchFiveBats: I'll stick a candle in a cookie and cry myself to sleep or something pitiful like that.
pootyfrebbles: Hahahahahahahah
CatchFiveBats: Have a real bang-up party.
pootyfrebbles: Fucking awesome

- cfb

December 2008 Purchases

I'm feeling lazy, so I didn't crop the pictures for this post. Guess you readers get the privilege of seeing some of the other things sitting on my desk. :P

• Morning Musume - COVER YOU RE (w/slipcover)
• Shugo Chara Egg! - Minna no Tamago LE (w/DVD)
• C-ute - FOREVER LOVE RE
• Pucchi Best 8
  

• Matsuura Aya - Double Rainbow RE (w/slipcover)
• DEF.DIVA - Suki Sugite Baka Mitai RE
• Morning Musume - Ambitious! Yashintenki de Ii Jan LE (w/DVD)
• C-ute - FOREVER LOVE Single V
• Buono! - Rottara Rottara Single V
• Berryz Koubou - Dschinghis Khan TaruTaru Mix Single V
  

Morning Musume

• Souda! We're Alive Single V
• DO IT! NOW Single V
• AS FOR ONE DAY Single V
  
• Ai Araba IT'S ALL RIGHT Single V
• Iroppoi Jirettai Single V
• Ganbacchae!/HEY! Mirai Single V
  

• Matsuura Aya Single M Clips 1
• Matsuura Aya - Ne~e? Single V
• Nochiura Natsumi - Renai Sentai Shitsu Ranger Single V
• Fujimoto Miki - Okitegami Single V
  

• Morning Musume - DVD Magazine Vol 3
• Matsuura Aya Concert Tour 2007 Aki ~Double Rainbow~
• Matsuura Aya Concert Tour 2004 Haru ~Watashi to Watashi to Anata~
• Tsugunaga Momoko - Momo no Mi PB

So yeah, purchase craziness. Some quick thoughts:
- COVER YOU is incredible. It feels pretty damn close to the Folk Songs albums, which is an extremely good thing. Speaking of, I recommend them wholeheartedly. Listen to them.
- I bought Pucchi Best 8 pretty much entirely for GAM's unreleased single (and, in a sense, the GAM Rakuten Eagles support single, although I do plan to actually buy that someday...). Do what you gotta do, I guess. XD
- Dschinghis Khan TaruTaru Mix, both the single and PV, is still like some kind of bizarre dream that I would tell my friends about and laugh at how stupid it is. Sadly, it's more fun to talk about than listen to. >.<
- I went insane on Single Vs this month...and January is more of the same. I've acquired so many CDs over the last year and a half (which, by the way, it's crazy that it's been that long X.X) that I guess I feel the need to back off on buying those for a bit. I've got a lot of listening to catch up on, haha.
- It feels pretty damn cool owning a DVD Magazine. Fanclub releases ftw?
- Watashi to Watashi to Anata is AWESOME. Download it, buy it, watch it somehow. Ayaya has and will always own the stage.
- Momo no Mi is HOT. Like, seriously. Momoko's got a smokin' bod. :P

And just a reminder, I keep a complete, up-to-date list of everything I've got here, if you're curious as to what all I've accumulated.

Until next month. :P
- cfb

H!P Best of 2008 Poll

ami over at Merry Go Round has been bugging me to take her poll, so I guess I'll cave.

Bests

Best Group Single
High-King - C\C (Cinderella\Complex) (both songs on this release were really solid, moreso than any other single...except maybe Pepper Keibu, and both tracks from that release were on Cover You)

Best Soloist Single
Matsuura Aya - Kizuna (as much as I love Okitegami, I think Kizuna was a better single - sorry Miki)

Best Group Album
Morning Musume - Cover You (neither C-ute nor Berryz' albums impressed me very much, and I rarely listen to Buono! or Ongaku Gatas - but even still, Cover You is a great album, and it deserves the spot)

Best Soloist Album
Nakazawa Yuko - Legend (I haven't even listened to this album, actually...but I can guarantee it's better than Koharu's...which I also haven't listened to XD)

Best PV
Athena and Robikerottsu - Seishun Love Lunch (best PV - and best guilty pleasure to torture your friends with, hands down)

Group With Best Overall Releases
Buono! (even though I almost never listen to them, I can't deny how high-quality pretty much everything they release is)

Best New Group (debuted in 2008)
MilkyWay (I would have gone for High-King, but they already got best single, plus they were a one-shot :P)

Best New Soloist (debuted in 2008)
Is there even a choice to be made here? I haven't gotten into TNX yet, so Ogamana is out of the question...and honestly, Manoeri has done little musically to impress me thus far (she's adorable, but that doesn't make her a good soloist...just a cute idol). As such, no takers.

Best Established Group (did not debut in 2008)
Morning Musume (I don't care what anyone says, cover releases ftw)

Best Established Soloist (did not debut in 2008)
Fujimoto Miki (not even speaking from my bias, I have to give her this for all the promotion she did for Okitegami - it didn't end up as the longest-charting single by itself)

Best Photobook
Suzuki Airi- - 6gatsu no Kajitsu (seriously a beautiful photobook - Airi rules)

Hottest Idol of 2008
Do I even need to answer this? Fujimoto Miki.

Worsts

Worst Group Single
Tie between MADAYADE and FOREVER LOVE (honestly, I barely listened to either, but what I heard did little to impress)

Worst Soloist Single
Kusume Koharu - Papancake (actually, I love this single...but you can't deny that it's awful XD)

Worst PV
Berryz Koubou - Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance (you're in one of two boats on this PV - love the monkey suits, or hate the monkey suits...I hated them)

Worst Vocalist of 2008
Koharu is the only one that springs to mind, and I don't hate her voice or anything. No takers on this one.

Least Attractive Girl of 2008
Honestly, every currently active member is at least moderately attractive. I'll give this to Yasuda Kei, even though she did nothing...because I can.

- cfb

Some Personal Thoughts on Mikitty and Scandals...

Alright, so...last night, in the process of trying to find video of Miki's Aenai performance from the SharamQ 20th Anniversary concert (which, by the way, there seems to be none of...), I came across quite a few blogs from around the time of her scandal. They talked about what Momusu could have become under her leadership, what was to become of GAM, her newfound relationship with this Shouji guy...and it depressed the shit out of me. I suppose now it's time for the obligatory scandal post.

One of the first things I need to get out of the way is, I have always approached H!P as a true blue wota. That's not to say that I pull out my glowsticks and do wotagei along to my concert DVDs, but there's a pretty real relationship that develops between wota and idol (or, should I say, one-sided relationship that develops from wota toward idol), and I've got it in full force. So when, say...someone in wotachat (*cough* pengie *cough*) makes some kind of lewd joke about Miki, it pisses me off. I've stormed out of wotachat on a few different occasions for that reason because, while I know the relationship is not the same (I may be smitten with a girl I'll never meet, but I'm not crazy), the emotions stirred up by that situation are similar to those that would arise if someone started making jokes about my wife or girlfriend, were I to have one. Just to re-emphasize this point, I don't think Fujimoto Miki is my girlfriend. That's stupid. But I still have a strong emotional connection to her as an idol, and it bothers me to see that idol image broken, as selfish and foolish as that is (but really, I'm a wota...would you expect anything else?). I hope that, by putting this post together, I can shed some light on how wotas feel about scandals and so forth. I get pretty tired of bloggers saying "why can't you just be happy for her!?". It's really not that simple.

Now that that's taken care of, back to my situation last night. So I'm wandering google search results, trying to find any traces of some Aenai footage, and I run across some blogs about Miki's scandal last year. While that's always been kind of a sour point for me, it never bothered me much because I wasn't a fan of hers at the time, and she's active now, so I could look past it. Not last night. Reading about all the tabloids that were reporting on her nights at a guy's house, trips to restaurants, weekends at resorts with him...I felt like the boyfriend who had just been dumped, seeing a girl I still had feelings for walking around with another guy. And for wota, that's exactly what it is. Creepy it may be, but filling that void for lonely guys is the function of idols, like it or not.

But back to the issue of scandals...while it truly bothers me to read what little there is to read about Miki's love life, I don't think she should stop dating Shouji Tomoharu. I may be selfish, but I'm not a dick. I cringe at the thought of what her and that guy may be doing behind closed doors, not because it makes me unhappy to think of her enjoying the company of a man in the bedroom (uncomfortable? yes, very - unhappy? not particularly), but because, as a wota, I can't help but feel jealous. She's MY idol...the girl I buy H!P concerts just for her one performance (2002 LOVE IS ALIVE concert DVD...hey, it was cheap), and collect her photobooks, and get excited when I recognize her voice in a song. There's a romantic element to being a wota that never really gets communicated to Western fans, because it's something you can't show through wotagei, or eyecandy posts, or buying merchandise, or anything like that.

Obviously, you can write about it, as I'm attempting to do here (and as others in the j-music blogosphere have done), but even that doesn't communicate what it's like to really have feelings for an idol, and then have those feelings stepped on when you find out that she's been "going behind your back". While terminology like that makes it seems as though I don't care about Miki's feelings, that couldn't be farther from the truth. As much as it hurts to think that Miki exists for anyone but me, I always do my best to put my feelings aside, because I do care about her. This is why I'm so fond of the no-dating policy.

It was blaringly obvious when Miki left H!P that she was ready to stop being an idol and live her life as a normal woman (or at least, as normal as the life of a celebrity can be). Some said that she used her relationship, and the no-dating policy, as a way out, and I'm inclined to agree. If an idol wants to do that, I say let her leave H!P and do so. After quitting Momusu, Miki laid low for a few months and made her way back into the music world with a solo single. She had said in interviews that she always wanted to be an enka singer anyway, so this was a near-ideal situation for her. Knowing that, by leaving H!P, Miki was allowing herself to do what she always wanted to do...it was much easier for me to swallow my wota selfishness and be happy for her.

One of the other things that makes it easier for me to continue enjoying Miki, knowing that she's no longer an idol, was that I didn't like her only as an idol, or as part of H!P. She's a talented vocalist (when songs are in her range... >.>'), a beautiful girl, and a great personality, and those aspects of her didn't go anywhere in the months between her scandal and Okitegami. There's just too many good things about her for me to drop my wota-ism because of some jealousy. Not to say that my jealousy is any less because of it...but the wota-idol relationship is only a small portion of why I like Miki so much. I think any wota who ends up sticking it out through a scandal that ends in their favorite idol leaving H!P would likely be able to say the same thing.

- cfb